Saturday, September 17, 2011

Everything seems to be flowing

So right now, life is good, really good. My youngest seems to be doing well on his meds, he seems to be more even keeled, and accepting of life's rules. My oldest, while not achieving everything he wants, is happy, and well-adjusted (like normal :) )Hubby and I are doing awesome, we both seem to be on the same page. I am graduating in December with a Bachelor's Degree in Public Safety Administration. And, 1/2 marathon training is right on track.

So why am I waiting for the other shoe to fall, and I really one of those half empty people? Expecting everything to mess up just because everything is going good right now. Why can't I just enjoy the good times? Everything is going so good right now, I'm scared that something will mess it up. At the very least, I'm afraid that an injury will happen and my 2nd 1/2 marathon dreams will go straight out the window.

I'm very disappointed in myself, that I just can't enjoy happy times and be excited that finally my life is going in the right direction. I'm loving my running, my boys are behaving, hubby and I are getting along great, and I am going to be a college graduate. So what's the problem, absolutely nothing. So, I'm literally kicking myself in the ass. Maybe I feel guilty, because in these hard times, so of my friends are really having it rough, and luckily I'm not. Believe me, I thank God every day that I don't have to struggle like many others do right now, but I'm so afraid that something is going to happen, and I am going to have to struggle financially. It is a scary time right now, and I am so glad that both hubby and I still have secure jobs.

So the point of my blog today; I don't honestly know. I just had the urge to write and get out my feelings. I apologize if it didn't make any sense. When I write, I usually go on feelings alone, so sometimes it may not make any sense. My blog is my release and you guys are just along for the ride. :D

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