things are still rough

So even though I resigned myself to that fact that by myself I couldn't help my son get over his tantrums, I am still so conflicted about him being on meds. Things were great when we first put him on them, but slowly they got a little worse. Now, I will admit that things are better than they used to be, but we are still having tantrums. And even though, they aren't as long as they used to be, they are still as intense, and I don't know what to do. If I go in with him, and help him calm down, its easier all around - but I wonder is that really teaching him. But if I don't go in and help him, he doesn't calm down, and eventually he'll cry himself to sleep, but I don't think he has learned anything. My husband feels I'm too easy on him, but I think he's a different type of child, that has different needs. I honestly think that when he has a tantrum he gets to a point where he cannot calm himself down. I don't think it has anything to do with not knowing how to calm himself down, I think he gets himself so worked up, that physically he cannot calm himself down. But I don't know what the fix for that is. Maybe a different drug, I don't know, but it is surely killing me inside. I, absolutely hate to see him like this, and I hate what it does to my family. I love my son, and will protect him to the end, but I wish I knew how to help him. It kills me to see him this way, and not know what to do to help him.