Being a mom is hard

When I decided to have children, I knew it was going to be hard work, but I didn't realize how hard some of it truly was. Taking care of them, providing for their physical needs seems like it's the hardest part, but honestly that's easy compared to dealing with their emotional well being. Supporting them, and being there for them is truly a 24/7 job. I truly try hard to do it, but I know I fail quite a bit.

Both my boys are extremely passionate about the things they love most in their lives. With my youngest, that is soccer and running, and he has his life planned and mapped out already. Go to UCF, the police academy, and become a police officer. All of that is pretty easy to support, and stay on board with. Great extracurricular activities that keep him fit, and a career path, while it makes me nervous based on the current climate regarding law enforcement, it's easy for me to be on board with it because it's a good paying steady career.

My older child, on the other hand, has extremely different passions, that are more foreign to me, and while I thought I was helping, apparently, I am not being supportive to his dream. My son wants to be a youtuber for his profession. While I think it's great that he is interested in it, it concerns me because I am worried that he won't be able to survive on the money he might make from it. I know it's not easy to break out in that area, and it's hard to become popular and make money at it. Don't get me wrong, I think he does any amazing job on his videos. He's very creative, and has a great speaking voice, but it's hard for me to get on board. See, I'm his mom and I want him to be successful. I want him to have a great job that supports him and that he enjoys. Trust me, I have spent a lot of time researching different careers that might go hand in hand with this passion, but are more stable, hoping one might interest him. But instead, by showing him these options, he thinks I am not supporting his dream, that I don't believe in him. And you know, what? Him telling me that really hurt. I do believe in him, and I always will believe in him. He's a very talented, smart, wonderful young man. And I have always supported him..... I spent countless hours chaperoning and watching him during his band performances, I have spent tons of time at the bowling alleys, and I do support him doing his youtube videos, but not as a career until he has established himself enough to make money at it. I want him to have something to fall back on if it doesn't work out.

Does that make me a bad mom? I feel so conflicted. How do I support him unconditionally, when I am so worried about his success? How do I prove to him that while I believe in him and his talent, I'm worried about how hard it is to succeed in this field no matter how great you are?

Oh, and here, check out his youtube page and see for yourself....... TheGameDex

Update on Me!

It's been a while since I blogged and I'm really missing it. The problem was I let it become a chore. My blog became all about fitness and reviews, and while that stuff is wonderful and I still want my blog to encompass those things, I also need to allow myself to write for me. That was my whole intention when I began PAMdemonium a few years ago. So, it's time to get back to blogging for me :D

So that said, let me update you all on what's going on in my life. My oldest son is a freshman at University of Florida in their PACE online program, and my youngest son is a freshman in high school and is very active in soccer, cross country and track and field. Needless to say they both still keep me very busy. Hubby is doing great, and still very active at his job. I'm finishing up my Master's Degree in Public Safety Administration, and have three classes left until I am done :D I'm still very active with my running, but not so much with running races. I'm down to running just one race a year. I also decided I really needed to add more strength training to my workout routine, so I joined Planet Fitness. I now have a well rounded routine of strength training and running.  Another new part of my life is I am actively using essential oils for my physical and mental health. I picked Young Living based on their quality, value and the morals of the company.

So, that in a nutshell is just a brief synopsis of what is currently going on in my life. I plan on keeping up with my blogging again, and I hope you will enjoy reading what I have to say. So, what's going on in your life since we last talked?